Common Body Language Pet Peeves and How to Address Them

As a communications coach, in this edition of my newsletter, I’d like to highlight on several nonverbal behaviours that often irk others.

Let's explore these body language pet peeves and learn how to manage them effectively. Click To Tweet

1. Inappropriate Staring

Eye contact norms vary significantly across cultures. Feeling uncomfortable or unsure about where to direct your gaze during face-to-face conversations, leads to awkward eye movements or inappropriate staring.

Solution

Practice the “triangle technique” – focus on the area between the eyes and mouth in professional settings. In social situations, you can expand this to include the chin area.

2. Poor Handshakes

The handshake, a primate behaviour at its core, can leave lasting impressions. Weak, overly strong, or unusual handshakes leave a negative impression.

Solution

Aim for a firm but not crushing grip, with palm facing sideways and fingers pointing downward.

Make brief eye contact and limit the shake to 2-3 pumps.

Power Tip

You can develop an immediate and positive connection with someone using this power tip.

Hold the other person’s hand a second longer than you are naturally inclined to do. This conveys additional sincerity and quite literally “holds” the other person’s attention while you exchange greetings.

3. Personal Space Invader/ The “Close Talker”

Personal space preferences are both culturally and individually determined. Standing too close during conversations, can make others uncomfortable.

Solution

After greeting someone, take a small step back to gauge their preferred distance. If they come forward then that’s their comforting proximity, if they don’t then it signifies that they need a bit of extra space. Respect this invisible boundary throughout your interaction.

4. The Touch Dilemma

While some use touch as a means of emphasis or connection, others find it invasive.

This disparity often stems from upbringing and cultural norms. It’s crucial to be mindful of others’ comfort levels with physical contact.

Solution

Unless you know the person well, limit touch to the initial handshake. If you’re a “touchy” person, try to redirect that energy into more expressive hand gestures instead.

5. Manspreading

Humans tend to expand their physical presence when feeling confident or powerful.

However, taking up excessive space in shared seating areas is not considerate of others and can infringe on their personal space.

Solution

In shared spaces, keep your legs within the width of your hips plus about two inches on each side.

6. Distracting Verbal and Physical Tics

Behaviours like throat clearing often serve as self-soothing mechanisms or involuntary responses to stress.

While these can be distracting, they typically stem from the body’s attempt to create psychological comfort.

Solution

Just videotape yourself while you’re doing five minutes, 10 minutes of a speech and have somebody look at it and correct you and say, “You know, you keep looking down “or you keep clearing your throat.” This’ll make you aware of your verbal tics.

You can also try to channel the energy into less noticeable actions, like gently pressing your fingertips against each other. If someone else’s tics bother you, try to focus on their words rather than their movements.

7. Verbal Fillers

Overuse of words like “um,” “uh,” or “like” in speech.

Solution

When shifting from one idea to another, you might instinctively say “uh” or “um” to fill an awkward silence, or “you know” to seek affirmation. Resist this inclination and simply pause.

This pause allows you to collect your thoughts before proceeding to your next point.

Also, eliminating these phrases from your casual conversations with friends, families can significantly improve your communication skills in presentations and speeches.

Remember, our preferences are shaped by a complex interplay of social, cultural, and personal factors. By being mindful of our own behaviours and understanding others’, we can navigate the intricate world of nonverbal communication more effectively.

Hi, I’m Nilanjan Gupta, a Certified Life and Public Speaking Coach with 18 years of experience. I specialize in High Performance Coaching, Public Speaking, Confidence Building, Stress Management, Emotional Mindset, and Mid-Life Crisis. I help professionals and leaders achieve their goals while balancing key aspects of life. Let’s unlock your potential together.

Connect with me to dive deeper into mastering nonverbal communication and enhancing your interpersonal skills. Let’s elevate your interactions together!